Farewell, Daisy

I knew my car wouldn't last forever, and when we brought it to Germany it was a one way ticket for my little Sentra. But, just the same, I bawled my eyes out today when I drove Daisy for the last time, and left her on the lot of a used car dealer. It was time for us to say goodbye. My stroller barely fit in the back, let alone with something bulky like groceries or luggage, and when visitors came then we were all uncomfortable. Just the same, the memories made driving around in my '05 Nissan Sentra were some of the most major moments in my life. I'm chronicling them in the hopes that, someday, when Layla is crying over an item that doesn't have feelings to love her back, I can remember that I, too, have spilled tears over such a  thing.
This was the first car that was ever all mine- a college graduation gift from my parents. They helped my buy it and cosigned on the loan, with comfortable $105 per month payments that were just big enough for a girl who had no idea what she wanted to do with her life. This car carried me and all the things I could fit in it to Chicago, chasing a bad relationship that would never work out. It took me safely to St. Louis in the middle of the night, to pick up my sister, Ellen, when her flight was rerouted and I so desperately needed to see a friendly face. It shuttled me around the Chicago suburbs for the next year, and showed me that I don't need a guy's help when I effectively jumped the battery after my boss insisted that with jumper cables "you connect positive to negative" (wrong, very wrong). Together we traveled back home again, both a little damaged and in need of healing, where my dad hammered out the dents in Daisy and my mom helped piece together my fragile self identity again. It carried me to Gunnison, Colorado, to start my teaching program, and then to my first day of teaching at Edison Elementary in Colorado Springs. I spent hours driving around town in Daisy, talking on the phone, questioning what I was doing what my life, and meeting up with friends. It took me to meet up with B for our 2nd date, and 10 months later, B and I drove away in Daisy from our wedding reception. We took our first trip back to B's hometown in South Carolina in Daisy, and continued up the east coast before heading home. In 2010, we moved to Ohio and Daisy rode behind B's truck filled to the brim with our belongings. Daisy and I toodled around Dayton, and I remember sitting in her in the parking lot of the hospital on a frozen December morning after finding out that we were expecting Layla. She stayed with us after we shipped the truck ahead of us to Germany, then bought us to Baltimore where we put her on a ship and we caught our flight to Ramstein. When I picked up Daisy, she was my ticket to freedom yet again- a car I could comfortably drive on the small German roads and reasonably expect to park in cities. Her compact passenger compartment made it possible for me to reach out and comfort my crying newborn, or comfort my new mommy anxiety, as we made the long drive to everywhere. I learned one of the most important lessons of my life while driving Daisy with my sweet tiny baby in the back seat- electronics and driving DO NOT MIX- after plowing into a field while talking to my baby and clicking through songs on my iPod. She kept us safe, and after B replaced the wheels and glued the bumper back on, she kept right on buzzing down the road. B headed out on his deployment, and Daisy was my reliable ride everywhere- I started the truck sitting in the driveway, but unless I needed 4 wheel drive, Daisy was always my choice in vehicles when leaving the house. I picked up guest after guest from the Frankfurt Airport, and then left Daisy sitting in the garage for a month when I went home. She gamely started when I returned, while the truck sat lamely in the driveway with a dead battery. When my parents came for a visit, my dad folded into the front seat and my mom squeezed into the back as we took trips all around the area before Daisy made her final trip as "moving van",  carrying my things from our off base home onto our new home on Ramstein. Layla and I picked up B from his deployment in Daisy, and we barely squeezed his gear in to the trunk, backseat and front seat before heading home. She wound us through the Austrian Alps on the way to a vacation in Bavaria, and took me on my long awaited trip to Paris. My sister, Beth, played games nonstop in the back seat to entertain Layla while we laughed and loved every minute together. But, it became painfully obvious that Daisy wouldn't be able to keep up for too much longer. In the next couple of years our family will likely grow again, and we'll need room for a second car seat. The autobahn was becoming a bit scarier every time we had to enter the high speed lane, and her doors and windows whistled with cold air. The mileage had reached over 100,000 and we would soon need to replace parts to keep Daisy up to German emission standards. It was time. Daisy will be exported to another country in the European Union that has lower emission standards than Germany, and will hopefully be just the reliable little car some family is looking for. If I could tell that family some things about her, I would tell them it takes 3 times tries to start, but she will always start. The scratches on the back bumper are just from me not being careful about pulling the stroller out, sorry for that. If the CD player stops working, just wait five minutes. I will miss her. While I know Daisy is a machine with no capability for feelings, I am grateful for the years we spent together.