Farewell, Daisy

I knew my car wouldn't last forever, and when we brought it to Germany it was a one way ticket for my little Sentra. But, just the same, I bawled my eyes out today when I drove Daisy for the last time, and left her on the lot of a used car dealer. It was time for us to say goodbye. My stroller barely fit in the back, let alone with something bulky like groceries or luggage, and when visitors came then we were all uncomfortable. Just the same, the memories made driving around in my '05 Nissan Sentra were some of the most major moments in my life. I'm chronicling them in the hopes that, someday, when Layla is crying over an item that doesn't have feelings to love her back, I can remember that I, too, have spilled tears over such a  thing.
This was the first car that was ever all mine- a college graduation gift from my parents. They helped my buy it and cosigned on the loan, with comfortable $105 per month payments that were just big enough for a girl who had no idea what she wanted to do with her life. This car carried me and all the things I could fit in it to Chicago, chasing a bad relationship that would never work out. It took me safely to St. Louis in the middle of the night, to pick up my sister, Ellen, when her flight was rerouted and I so desperately needed to see a friendly face. It shuttled me around the Chicago suburbs for the next year, and showed me that I don't need a guy's help when I effectively jumped the battery after my boss insisted that with jumper cables "you connect positive to negative" (wrong, very wrong). Together we traveled back home again, both a little damaged and in need of healing, where my dad hammered out the dents in Daisy and my mom helped piece together my fragile self identity again. It carried me to Gunnison, Colorado, to start my teaching program, and then to my first day of teaching at Edison Elementary in Colorado Springs. I spent hours driving around town in Daisy, talking on the phone, questioning what I was doing what my life, and meeting up with friends. It took me to meet up with B for our 2nd date, and 10 months later, B and I drove away in Daisy from our wedding reception. We took our first trip back to B's hometown in South Carolina in Daisy, and continued up the east coast before heading home. In 2010, we moved to Ohio and Daisy rode behind B's truck filled to the brim with our belongings. Daisy and I toodled around Dayton, and I remember sitting in her in the parking lot of the hospital on a frozen December morning after finding out that we were expecting Layla. She stayed with us after we shipped the truck ahead of us to Germany, then bought us to Baltimore where we put her on a ship and we caught our flight to Ramstein. When I picked up Daisy, she was my ticket to freedom yet again- a car I could comfortably drive on the small German roads and reasonably expect to park in cities. Her compact passenger compartment made it possible for me to reach out and comfort my crying newborn, or comfort my new mommy anxiety, as we made the long drive to everywhere. I learned one of the most important lessons of my life while driving Daisy with my sweet tiny baby in the back seat- electronics and driving DO NOT MIX- after plowing into a field while talking to my baby and clicking through songs on my iPod. She kept us safe, and after B replaced the wheels and glued the bumper back on, she kept right on buzzing down the road. B headed out on his deployment, and Daisy was my reliable ride everywhere- I started the truck sitting in the driveway, but unless I needed 4 wheel drive, Daisy was always my choice in vehicles when leaving the house. I picked up guest after guest from the Frankfurt Airport, and then left Daisy sitting in the garage for a month when I went home. She gamely started when I returned, while the truck sat lamely in the driveway with a dead battery. When my parents came for a visit, my dad folded into the front seat and my mom squeezed into the back as we took trips all around the area before Daisy made her final trip as "moving van",  carrying my things from our off base home onto our new home on Ramstein. Layla and I picked up B from his deployment in Daisy, and we barely squeezed his gear in to the trunk, backseat and front seat before heading home. She wound us through the Austrian Alps on the way to a vacation in Bavaria, and took me on my long awaited trip to Paris. My sister, Beth, played games nonstop in the back seat to entertain Layla while we laughed and loved every minute together. But, it became painfully obvious that Daisy wouldn't be able to keep up for too much longer. In the next couple of years our family will likely grow again, and we'll need room for a second car seat. The autobahn was becoming a bit scarier every time we had to enter the high speed lane, and her doors and windows whistled with cold air. The mileage had reached over 100,000 and we would soon need to replace parts to keep Daisy up to German emission standards. It was time. Daisy will be exported to another country in the European Union that has lower emission standards than Germany, and will hopefully be just the reliable little car some family is looking for. If I could tell that family some things about her, I would tell them it takes 3 times tries to start, but she will always start. The scratches on the back bumper are just from me not being careful about pulling the stroller out, sorry for that. If the CD player stops working, just wait five minutes. I will miss her. While I know Daisy is a machine with no capability for feelings, I am grateful for the years we spent together.

A week in March- with Mary!

I have been lucky enough to have collected a fantastic group of girl friends, reaching back to my preschool days and rounding out with a couple of great girls here in Germany. During our time in Ohio, I met Mary. She joined a bible study I was a part of, and I knew right away that we would be friends. Mary is stylish, funny, sensible, honest, one of the smartest women I've ever met, and one of the truest friends I could have hoped to make. I can't believe that we've only been friends for a few years, as we already share so many memories! Our move to Germany was right around the time that Mary deployed to Qatar, and we kept each other going by sending goofy cards and checking in on one another. She safely returned to her husband in Ohio last fall, and when I told her that B would be deploying this spring, she started planning her trip out to visit me and meet Layla! Being a seasoned traveler around Europe, I hoped Mary would be able to help me kick start some travels around our local area. The first couple of days were spent around the house because we got the BIGGEST snow of the season the day after she arrived, shutting down base and making me feel a bit too nervous to venture further than one village over to pick up dinner. After the snow melted, though, Mary and I experienced our first Easter markets, traveled to Metz, France, and in general just ate and drank our way through a wonderful week. Other highlights: watching Drop Dead Gorgeous a few times(seriously, Mary, I love that I got to watch this perfecto comedy with you for the first time, it so wraps up our dark sense of humor), discussing the election of the new pope(she's not Catholic, but very educated and had interesting viewpoints), eating everything we bought from a shopping trip to a French grocery story (oh wait, did I already mention eating? Whatever, we did that a lot!) So, here's the thing about Mary. She doesn't have kids yet, and when she and I became friends in Ohio, I wasn't a mom yet either, so I was a tiny bit nervous that my having a baby around with fairly demanding needs might be stressful. Wrong! SO WRONG! One of the biggest gifts you can give to a friend who is a new mom is to be a fan of her baby. I know that sounds so simple, but I cannot tell you how important it is. I remember feeling awkward making friends around that time, just feeling completely insecure in this new phase of life. Would people like my baby, like I needed them to so I could be myself around them? Would my friends-from-my-previous-life still like me?? Mary scooped up Layla as soon as I could unbuckle her from the stroller in the airport, and put any fear or awkwardness to rest. She was unbelievable with Layla! Layla clicked with her right away, too, I think sensing Mary's fun nature and genuine affection for her. When you are by yourself with an infant 24/7 with very little outside adult interaction, you start to forget what it's like to have someone in the house that answers when you talk out loud, lends a helping hand when you have something you NEED to get done (shower, anyone?), or actually cares that you put something other than yoga pants! Having Mary visit just warmed our house up during a cold, snowy March here in Germany. Mary, you were truly a light in what could have been a very dark time for me, and everyone should be so lucky as to have a friend like you!

Our Whole Family!

After seven months, B is HOME! Layla and I drove to Frankfurt and picked him up from the airport on Sunday, September 8 and we've been happily spending time together ever since. Aside from having to go into work for a couple of hours for the first 3 days he was home, B has been off work for a week and a half, and will continue to be until Thursday. The time has been flying by, mainly because we have been SO busy! There was lots of unpacking and rearranging to be done (since I moved into this house while B was gone, I hadn't really allowed enough space for all of his stuff) and I had a whole "honey-do" list waiting, too. B has cheerfully been making his way through that list, and the house is looking better every day. We finally took our first official family photos; a combination of "Layla is one!" and "B is home from deployment!". They were done at a local castle on a really frosty morning. Poor Layla was so cold, I was convinced we hadn't gotten a single good shot but after reviewing the pictures yesterday, our photographer really did get a few good ones! The best part of the last two weeks has been a four day trip to Garmisch, Germany in Bavaria, where we stayed at the Edelweiss Lodge and Resort. It's a hotel run specifically for American military set in an absolutely gorgeous area of Germany. Honestly, when we heard we were moving here, this area is what I pictured. It reminded me so much of the mountain towns in Colorado- a mix of Breckenridge and Boulder. Anyway, it was a "slice of Heaven" as my friend CeCe so correctly put it. The room had a breathtaking view, there was a pool to splash in with Layla, restaurants and a coffee shop on site, and easy access to the village itself. I've heard people call it the "ugly American hotel" but I just don't even care. It was relaxing, and let us focus on being a family again without the struggles that can come with traveling in a foreign country. It was a five hour drive with a small stretch through Austria and the last hour wound us through the Bavarian Alps. Layla did so well in the car- playing, sleeping, eating, and watching Kidsongs. We spent our first full day walking into the town to have breakfast at a bakery, playing in the hotel pool, and planning our second day activities over dinner at a gasthouse (German hotel). Edelweiss offered a number of tours daily, and while we didn't go on one of the tours, we used it as a guide for what the area had to offer. I really wanted to visit Neuschwanstein Castle, which is the castle that Walt Disney modeled Sleeping Beauty castle after, but we will have to do that another time when Layla is old enough that we don't need a stroller. Instead, we visited Linderhof Palace- the primary residence of King Ludwig II (click here to read about this beloved Bavarian king). It was only about a half hour drive from our hotel, and the location did not disappoint! Tours of the palace were offered in English, so we were able to visit the inside of Linderhof. It was rainy and foggy that morning, but I think it really only added to the beauty and magic of Linderhof. The palace is really quite small- the king never married and didn't like to entertain- but the surrounding gardens are large and so neat to tour. Of course, there were also a lot of stairs, which mean lugging Layla and a jogging stroller down stairs and up alternate routes. In the end, it was so worth it and really remarkable. We stopped for lunch and shopping in a village on the way home before heading back to the hotel for mother/daughter napping before our carriage ride through Garmisch. The ride had been booked before we realized what a big day visiting Linderhof would be, and I think we all wished that we could cancel it and just spend the evening by the pool. We headed home on Friday, which turned out to be much lengthier than our drive to Garmisch after we were stuck in two huuuuuuuuuuuge traffic jams, or "staus" as they are called here. Since then, we've been unpacking, doing laundry, cleaning, and visiting the annual Pumpkin Festival to welcome the beginning of fall! I know the next week with B home will fly by, and I'm just so grateful for this reintegration time. Layla has really bonded with B, which has been a big relief for us both. After being gone for over half of her life, I think it was a big concern in the back of both of our heads how long it would take for Layla to understand that he was her daddy and here to stay. He really worked at spending time doing what she wanted, playing her games, comforting her when she was upset and not just giving her to me, keeping her so I can go do errands, and showing her that she can trust him. Nothing has made me smile bigger than when B knelt down with his arms open and Layla toddled as fast her her leggies could carry her to him, grinning and giggling.

Our hello is Their goodbye

I can't believe we are finally in the last few days of this deployment- excited doesn't even begin to cover it! But, as thrilled as I am, I can't help but think of the family around the corner from us, the family who is counting down the days until their sad goodbye. The location that B is deployed to is a standing position, one that someone from his office has to constantly man. Now, while B is rotating home, his coworker J is preparing to leave. I know B has served his time, really a month more than everyone else before him, and we certainly have missed him. I cannot wait to see him get to know his little girl again. However, J also has a little girl. She's two and a half, and will notice exponentially more the person missing from her life. When we arrived in Germany, we knew at some point B would need to go to Kosovo. He had the forethought to jump on this rotation, which was really the best timing. Layla would still be small enough that she wouldn't even remember him, and B wouldn't miss any of the holiday season. I had a hard time admitting it, but this really was the best time for him to go. But, for the family around the corner, J will miss Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentines, her birthday, and Easter. It breaks my heart to think about. So, while I look at the yard and think, "It can wait until B is home." I know that M is looking at her yard and saying, "J, will you take care of that one more time so I don't have to try and do it while watching L?" While I decide the box in the garage won't really bother me enough over the next week to haul it up to the attic myself, M no doubt has a list of final to-do's for J. And while I'm making a list of special list of meals to welcome B home with, she is doing the same, only to say goodbye.
So, readers, if you wouldn't mind saying a special prayer for this family, and for all families just starting a deployment, I sure would appreciate it. The anticipation to a deployment is agonizing, and the first few weeks are the very hardest as everyone grapples with what will be the reality of the next few months.

On base living

As most of you probably know, our family moved onto Ramstein AB exactly a month ago yesterday! We had been on and off of the base housing wait list since we arrived in April of 2012 (mostly on), and were very excited when we were offered a townhome on Ramstein. For a bit of background, this was particularly fortunate because we were originally offered a 2 bed/1 bath third floor apartment, and knew that we could be offered a small apartment again or offered a home on another base that would have meant still not being very close to Beau's work or the amenities here on base (grocery store, shopping, gym etc). Had we been offered one of those places, we would have turned it down again and come off of the wait list. Our home in Oberstaufenbach was really very nice, and so we were willing to wait for the exact type of home on the base we wanted before moving. It was a harder decision than I thought it would be to leave the 'Stauf, mainly because our home there was really comfortable and I had become close with my neighbor, but ultimately I knew that life would be easier living on base. So, I made the arrangements, booked Thumper at the dog sitter, and scheduled the movers to pack up the house! The timing was ideal in some ways, and bad in others. My parents were here visiting, but left for Paris on a scheduled trip the day the movers loaded the truck and moved us to our new home. They were able to help me do all of the "pre-pack" stuff, like take down curtains and pictures, and set aside the things I would want immediate access to while unpacking the rest of the home. One of B's coworkers was assigned to help me for the day, and so he sat at our old house as the packers loaded the truck while I took possession of the home on base (and Layla snoozed in the car), then he sat at the new house while the movers unloaded the truck so his wife and I could go to the old house and clean out the last of the stuff the movers wouldn't pack (and Layla snoozed in the car). I don't know what I would have done without Adam and Choi, they were just so helpful. Choi then kept Layla busy so I could unpack Layla's room, which I wanted to do immediately so she could maybe start to think of this as home. We muddled through the next 4 days, unpacking when I could keep Layla safely distracted, and playing outside and among the boxes cluttering the whole home. My parents returned from Paris that Saturday (we had moved on Tuesday) and helped me quickly plow through the boxes, hang pictures (masonry drill bit required), and make this new house feel quite homey! I can't imagine what life would have been like without them here... the words sad, stressed, and lonely come to mind, though. So, to my parents, a big old THANK YOU times about a million!
So, was the move worth it? Do I regret giving up the whole guest apartment, carpeting, a single family home, space, and privacy? SO WORTH IT! No regrets, at all. I can drive to the grocery store in 2 minutes, walk there in about 7. That's right, a seven minute walk. That would have gotten me halfway here driving from our old house. Layla and I can get out often, run our errands, multiple times a day if necessary. No one big trip to base per day anymore. I've found our daily walks much more relaxing, as there are no flies and no tractors, even if the surroundings are slightly less scenic (I say slightly because I actually really enjoy walking around neighborhoods, saying hi to people and critiquing lawn decor) Our neighbors are quiet and respectful, which is SO much more than I could say about our old neighbors (aside from Jamie's family of course, who I love and still see often). Once B returns in just over a week (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) he will be able to drive to work in less than 5 minutes, walk in about 10 if he wants to. And, since I no longer feel like it's such a journey just to go do errands every day, I've been able to get out and about and enjoy the community outside of base much more than I ever did before. As far as the house itself goes, we really did not give up much. It will be cozier when people come visit for sure, but for the bulk of the time the apartment at our other house just sat empty anyway. I love having two levels, it makes it much easier to get things done while Layla is napping in her room without having having the worry of waking her. There is actually a dedicated play room in this house that I can see straight into from the kitchen(it's supposed to be the eat-in kitchen, but we also have a dining room so our table is in the dining room) and I've been able to contain most of Layla's toys there. Our backyard at our old house was raised, which wasn't ideal with a toddler, but here it is nice and flat and Layla lovvvvves wandering around chasing the dog, playing with her sand table- it's just perfect for us.
Anyway, time to wrap up this wordy post, but just know- we are settled in to our new home and very happy here!

Happy Birthday to my Layla Girl!

Layla is one- ONE! One whole year old! I have successfully kept another human being alive for a full calendar year! What a year it has been, too! Nobody really ever knows what they are getting into when they have children, and I'm no different. We were really as prepared as we could be, and I've spent time around many kids in my life, but nothing can mimic caring for a squirming, fully dependent, tiny human that can't communicate her needs in any way other than screaming around the clock. Fortunately, there is the overwhelming love that comes with meeting your own child that somehow carries you through the blur that is "year one" of life. I really can't believe that Layla is already a year old, I've just loved being her mommy and getting to know her little personality. She is a live wire, always curious, always moving, always learning. I guess that's the way of little people, though, isn't it? A few commonly asked questions:
Is Layla walking? Yes! She took a few steps right before 11 months, and took off from there. One of her favorite activities right now is chasing Thumper around the yard, and she's very quick about it.
How many teeth does she have? Four all the way out, one through and three on the way. We love Highland's Teething Tablets around here.
Does Layla talk? She says a few words. Dada. Da for dog. Fffff for fan. She communicates well in other ways, though. I know perfectly well when she wants to watch a Kidsongs dvd- it's hard to ignore her pounding on the blu-ray player and pointing at the screen. When she's tired or feeling upset, she reaches straight down my shirt, no matter if we're at home or at church or the grocery store...gotta love babies. And she knows where the Cheerios are and can point out the cabinet!
What are her favorite foods? Avocado, cheerios, Greek yogurt, peaches, apples, green beans, Eggo waffles, and a sweet potato risotto I've made a few times. Things she won't eat? Milk. Cheese. Eggs.
How is Layla sleeping? Ha. She naps for an hour and a half if I'm lucky in her crib, and then is up 2 times between 9 and 7:30.
Any favorite things she's formed an attachment to? No blankies and she spit out her pacifier months ago, but she does love a red and white bouncy ball that my mom got her, as well as a bunny I got for her birthday. Oh, and anything with cords. Answering machine, surge protector.. she wants to wear it like a stole. So THAT'S fun to try and police
Overall, Layla is just a happy busy little girl, and I know the next year will provide at least as many surprises as this last one. Cheers to you, Layla Ann, you are very loved!

Me time vs. Chore time

Quiet minutes where I'm able to do what I want are at a premium around here right now. Layla has never been a great sleeper (and I haven't done a great job with the cry it out method) so it's only been a recent development that I'm not holding her during both of her daily naps. I now have an hour and a half on my hands during the day that I didn't have before, which is faaaaabulous, but it brings on a debate in my mind: do I use this free time to clean the house and catch up on chores? Or, do I use it to take a breath and relax, maybe paint my nails, take a nap, take a non-warpspeed shower with pack and play in my bathroom singing "Wheels on the Bus"... oh the little luxuries. The first couple of days I thought, "This is MY time! I am going to do ANYTHING I want (facebook/amazon/carters)! YES!!!! I deserve it (ok, does the word deserve bother anybody else? Like when people can't afford things but they 'deserve' it so they get themselves into debt? anyway, another topic for another day)" But then, the nap was over, me time was over, and the kitchen still needed cleaning before I could prep dinner but there were now two little helper hands grasping firmly to my pant legs crying for attention. Damn. So, it turns out that the biggest gift I can give to myself during nap time is to take care of the house, because a dirty house and a fifteen item to-do list makes me grumpy and anxious, not to mention can be dangerous if there are things laying around that shouldn't be. On that note, I've kept up my effort to return to blogging, "me " time is over, and it's time to put up that baby gate before my child gets up and makes putting up barriers impossible :)

Pressing the RESTART on blogging!

I know. I've been outta the game for a few months now. I've got all sorts of excuses, but the thing is, I really miss blogging. A friend of mine posted on facebook the other day that she feels the need to write, and I have to say, "I feel ya!" Now that Layla is successfully napping in her crib most days, I finally have time to really sit down and type away. I have lots of past events to catch up on, but I find it really overwhelming when I think about trying to do them all at once so that I can "start" where I am now. So, instead, I'll keep things current while tossing in throw backs to what has been going on over the last 4 (eek, has it really been that long?) months since I last blogged. I'll also probably be a little lighter on the photos- resizing them all to fit the memory size allotted by blogger takes too much time and deters me from writing. Anyway, off I go on a fresh start, and thanks for sticking with me, those of you who still follow ;)

Taco Bell saves the day

No really. If it weren't for my ridiculous need for the nachos that day, it might have been a much crummier day! I try to get out of the house once a day at LEAST for my sanity's sake. There really aren't many places to go, so it's usually to base to pick up a couple of things at the commissary, the post office, or wander the B/X. That day I had actual legit things to do, which is rare! So off I went with my Layla girl happily chattering in the back seat. Well, I should have known it was going to be an off day when she fell asleep on the way TO base (usually this is on the way home, not going there). It was a solid hour before her nap time, but I couldn't do much while driving. But, I shlepped her, carseat and all into the photo lab to print up some pictures to put in the frames B had hung while he was home. However, photos were not to be had, the equipment was broken, has been for at least two months and they aren't really sure when it's going to get fixed so go to Saturn (local store). I've been to Saturn, paid TRIPLE what I normally would for prints, and the quality was so poor I didn't even put them up (thus my reprint at the base shop). So errand #1: fail. On to the post office. This post office is usually a fail, so I wasn't surprised when I stopped in to mail a package to a friend, only to be told the shipping would be $11, but only $5.50 if I switched to this other box. Ok, for half the price I did the switch (by this time Layla was awake and squirming in the carseat in her LEMMEOUTORELSE sort of way) but in the time it took me to readdress, a line out of nowhere- I had literally been the only customer with 5 mailing windows open before- had formed. So we waited our 10 minutes, mailed the package, and headed on to the library to get my book for book club. I had checked online before, found out the book was there, but by the time I ran my two other errands, the book was gone. And so, with my three stops done on base, I had little to show for it but annoyance. Well, I guess I had gotten the package mailed, so not a total bomb. My stomach told me it was lunch time, and I had packed a granola bar just for this reason. So I would NOT be tempted to go to the food court at the B/X and get Taco Bell. No. Eat the granola bar and go home.... but... nachos....nachos won. Layla seemed happier with this option, too, as it offered a chance to get out of the restraints and squirm for awhile. The food court at lunch time on base is busy, but we managed to get food and a table, and I fed Layla Puffs in her stroller while I enjoyed my food. After finishing up, I decided to walk around a bit before we got back in the car. As I situated all of our gear, I ran into a girl that I had met during a tour during one of our first months here. I had been meaning to meet up with her, but she's quite a bit younger than I am and I didn't know if that would be weird for her. She also happens to be available for babysitting....you see where I'm going with this? It was great to see her, and Layla REALLY liked her, so I'll probably arrange for her to come by sometime soon so I can paint my nails/rearrange the closet/ stare mindlessly at a wall. This is where our afternoon really took a turn for the fabulous. I walked into the furniture section of the B/X and spotted a gorgeous leather sofa sectional. I needed to set Layla down for a minute, and this looked like the spot to do it. I put her squirmy butt down and... ohhh... she had never experienced cool leather before... she looovvvvvvvved cool leather.... she layed back, rolled back and forth with her little face pressed against the cushions and then the back of the couch, crawled from end to end (it was a sectional piece, so it made a nice L shape that gave her extra room to roam) pulled up, flopped down, sat up, giggled and grinned just had herself a time! When she tired of this piece, we moved to four of the other leather couches there, but nothing was like that first one.

 B, if you are reading this, we NEED this sofa set! So many people stopped to watch her little show, I thought we might get asked to leave, but we didn't and so for more than thirty minutes Layla basked in the leathery awesomeness of these couches. Eventually, we wandered around the rest of the B/X, where I was surprised to find that their photo machines had finally been fixed, and I could print my pictures after all! Hooray for the B/X! We ran into another friend for a chat before heading home, where Layla was happy to roam free. Her most favorite activity right now is to run around the house, holding on to my fingers to keep her upright, but really using her own legs for the most part. When we got to the back door, she just wanted to stop and look out for awhile. So, I set her there and just sat back to catch her when she eventually fell (which was much later than I thought it would be!).

She tried to eat the panes that are built between the layers of glass, and couldn't quite get why her teeth weren't grasping the white section :) Funny baby.

All in all, a day that started out looking blah and unproductive turned out to be quite lovely, thanks to stopping for T-Bell.. oh, and my Lady Layla of course, who I never tire of watching discover her world!

Up goes baby, down goes crib

There are so many milestones with babies. You look for them, expect them, hope for them, cheer for them... and dread them. At least I do, some of them, anyway. Rolling over: OVERRATED! Sitting up: WAY COOL! For whatever reason, the milestone of lowering the crib was one that caught me by total surprise. It's not a milestone in the traditional sense of the doctor asking me about it at the next appointment. But it marks a significant growth in my tiny human. And it hit me hard! When we moved Layla out of our room and into her crib at around six weeks, I fussed at B a bit "Oh she's just so far away!" but deep down I knew that it was a needed transition that would help all of us sleep better (and it did at the time). However, we didn't have to move Layla because she had gotten too big. She really could have stayed in the pack and play for a few more months if I wanted. Lowering the crib was different. Layla has learned to sit herself up, and has pulled up to a standing position more than a couple of times now, so it just wasn't safe any longer for her mattress to be in the highest position. My baby is now too big of a baby to be in the babiest of the positions. And here she is laughing about it :)

 The drop of two feet (maybe? maybe less) seemed so much further than the move from my room across the house to the crib. She looks so tiny when I look down from the top, so much further for my arms to reach, searching to comfort her in the middle of the night.

I think I needed this reminder right now, that her time as a baby is really so very short. Layla will be eight months tomorrow- EIGHT! Lately I have been losing my patience with the (numerous) during the night feedings. From the time she was six weeks until almost four months, she slept through most nights like a champ. And then... she stopped. Twice a night, sometimes three or four times a night (and sometimes five) I am up feeding her. Full feedings. She finishes and happily goes back to sleep in her crib, but I am exhausted. Beyond exhausted. I've tried cereal, plenty of baby food, an extra feeding closer to bed time.... the only thing I haven't tried is formula and at this point, I'm in it to win it with breastfeeding her. I am also not up for the crying it out method- I need some back up here with me to help me through it, and since this is a one woman show, we won't be going that road. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to it. Some nights, she will sleep a good six hour stretch to kick off the night, and sometimes she is up after two and a half hours. No change in routine, food, environment. And I'm frustrated and tired. But this will only last so long. When she's ready, she will sleep through the night. So, tonight when I go in, I'll stretch to the bottom of that crib and nuzzle her fuzzy little head a few extra times before I put her back to bed.

Our German Anniversary!

April 4. We arrived April 4, 2012. I remember the day so well, even though I slept maybe 2 hours on the flight from Baltimore. I was so eager to get here, and get going on this German adventure! The build up was intense, and the only relief would come in starting our life here. So, it is now a year later, and it seems like a lifetime has passed in the last 365 days. We moved from the US to a hotel to a furnished apartment to our house, grew from a married couple to a family of 3, and sent B away on his first deployment. Things are so different now, I can hardly believe it! I have a few thoughts on the last year... ok more than a few. I have a lot of thoughts, but not all of them are worth sharing. I've been thinking about the good, and the bad. How my feelings have changed, and stayed the same. What I would do differently, and the things that I'm so happy have happened the way they have.
I'll admit, I wasn't entirely excited about our assignment to Germany. I had friends who tried to buoy my enthusiasm with chants of "chocolate, wine, and the diamond district!", ideas of easy European travel, and promises of close relationships with the military families stationed here with us. I'm thankful for those friends, because without that support I don't know how I would have boarded the flight here (ok, we all know I would have come anyway to be with B, but it did help!). When we arrived, I was often met with "Oh, you just got here? In a few weeks you will LOVE it! The first few weeks are the wost!". Well, we made it through the first few weeks, and those exclamations became, "The first few months are the hardest, around month 4 you will LOVE it!" And that just kept stretching out...once you have the baby...give it six months... after you've experienced Christmas... after you've been here a year.... Ok people. It's been a year, and the statement of "You will feel differently after you have been here a year!" has been completely true! I hate it here with a deep burning passion that I never could have imagined a year ago. I'm pretty sure not that's not what people meant by " You will feel differently." but it is the truth. Germany and I are just not a good fit for each other. Some people and places don't mix well. It doesn't mean Germany is a bad place(to me it is but I do know many people love it, and it's truly not evil..well.. anymore) or that I am a bad person (despite all of the people who have felt the need to tell me how wrong I am, that if I were involved I would feel differently, that I'm not doing things I should be). It just means that this isn't anywhere we will be looking at retiring!
I should say that there are things that I appreciate about this country. It is beautifully green. Drought is the furthest thing from people's minds here, as are the threat of natural disasters since there are really no tornadoes, hurricanes, landslides... you get the idea.. to contend with. The appreciation for keeping trash to a minimum is inspiring, albeit annoying at times. While I found the recycling business frustrating at first, I've come to appreciate it and really do think that the US needs to implement something like this pronto. I mean, we live in the red neck area of Germany (from my understanding where we are is like the Lousiana/ Mississippi of the States) and everyone here recycles, so I have no doubt that Americans could figure it out! Perhaps as a result as the dedication to the world around them, the streets are (for the most part) kept impeccably clean. Every Saturday morning, people sweep their sidewalks, tend to any thing on the exterior of the home that needs maintaining, and sweep (nope, not kidding here) the gutter and street in front of their home. They sweep the gutter and street into a little dustpan like most of us just use for our kitchen floors to make sure that the area around the home is spotless. It's impressive! Other positives: I have made some really good friends! My neighbor across the street, Jamie, is absolutely fabulous and I don't know what I would do without her. Seriously. She takes me and Layla in on a regular basis, feeds us, cheers us on, celebrates her milestones with me as if Layla was her own family, and in general is just a good person. I'm so thankful to have her. I also have met other ladies that have helped me connect here. Before I even landed on German soil I had a couple of people linking me to realtors, available homes, 220v appliances, spouses groups... you name it, I had a connection! My home was quickly stocked with the things I needed, we found a great home, and I was part of two spouses groups before my first month was over, and to me, being involved is the very best way to be happy. Besides the friends I have met here, I've also had the opportunity to grow much closer to a friend from Ohio, CeCe. We chat often, bond over shared experiences, reminisce our time in Ohio, check in on each other through TDY and deployments, and have created a friendship that I might not have had the chance to have if not for being in Germany together. 
One of the things(the only thing?) I was most looking forward to about living in Germany was the opportunity to travel and experience the local traditions. We've done a pretty thorough job of traveling the reachable area -and by reachable I mean as far as I'm willing to strap Layla into a car seat and listen to her howl for- and now that we have been here for a full year, I've seen the Christmas markets, fests, and Easter markets in action! These had been a unique experience, unlike much of what I've seen in the States. Colorado Springs has a few things that remind me of it- Territory Days for those who are in the Springs- but here every small village has at least some sort of celebration every year. The historical sites we've visited have been the biggest treat, and I still really enjoy taking visitors to Heidelberg to tour the beautiful castle grounds and take in the view of the city. We didn't get to go to the places I am most looking forward to yet, but we have plans to see Paris, Rome, Venice, and possibly a Mediterranean cruise within the next year! I truly am excited for these trips. I know people wonder why we haven't done more traveling and the answer is much the same as it would be if you asked why we didn't travel to New York, Boston, Chicago, or Nashville at least once a month while we were in Ohio; it is EXPENSIVE! Is it closer and therefore more accessible than if we were stateside? Absolutely! But hotels are pricey, train tickets are not cheap by any means, and driving in to many of these cities is not doable even in my smaller car. Also, see previous comment about a squirmy baby...
So what don't I like about Germany? Pretty much anything I didn't list above in my likes about living here  you can assume is a dislike. I dislike the food, the restaurants that serve it, and the lack of water. I dislike the roads here, the pesky tractors that are always in the way, and the unsafe streets through villages that require weaving between parked cars. I dislike the grocery shopping, how I am confined to a commissary that is regularly out of staples (because of budget issues, and because some people buy out certain items and resell to Germans because they can't get things like Fritos and Pepsi in their stores) and that even if I do go to a German grocery store it is just as far away as the commissary, stinks like rotting meat, and I don't know how to find the items I want. I dislike that the clothes here are so much more expensive than in the States and not my style, and that if I want to put together a cute outfit for myself or Layla I have to play "guess what size" online and hope that things fit together. I dislike that no place has air conditioning except for base, and when it's 95 during the summer with high humidity, there is no place at all to go to cool down, and if I open my window I am swarmed with hundreds of flies because there are no screens on windows here. I dislike the toilets, the way they spray so much waste into the air when you accidentally flush without the top lid down and the fact that they are always dirty and stink no matter if you cleaned them the day before or not. I dislike going to public places here, because parking is always hard to find, and you typically have to pay for it before walking a few blocks to where you actually want to go. I dislike that, if it is Sunday and I need something that the base does not have, I have to wait until Monday (if it's not a holiday, so many of them are here) because it is against the law to be open. When Layla had her first cold, I just wanted a humidifier to help my sick baby girl. But, it was Sunday, and the B/X only sells 110v appliances. I dislike that no place here does a real breakfast. I dislike that I can't communicate with someone what I need, and yes I realize I am in their country so there is no real reason for them to speak English, but I am not going to learn a language I never intend on using again for 2 years. I dislike the heating systems, and that there is no way for me to set a consistent temperature. I dislike the room by room radiators that take up wall space, are a pain to set correctly, and will burn my baby's little hand if she touches them after they've been on for awhile. I dislike how cold it is. The lack of sun doesn't bother me anywhere near as much as the consistent snow fall. I dislike the resistance to change here- why do they hate convenience and progress so very much? I don't get it. I dislike that the only walking paths around here are shared by tractors that don't pay attention to how fast they are going, and that I've had to quickly pull Thumper and Layla off into the grass many times to avoid being run over (this just happened today, as a matter of fact). I dislike that nothing here is family friendly, so much so that even Germans aren't having babies (true story, they have a declining population because of the cost and impact on life here). I don't want to let my child scream her head off and run around like a wild animal, I simply want to push my stroller into a store, or order a meal and have it ready in less than a hour. I have so many more things, but I think my point is clear.
I trust that we were stationed here for a reason, and I hope that in time I come to see that reason. I know Germany is a fabulous place to some people, and I wish it was a fabulous place to me, too. But, for whatever reason, this doesn't seem to be a good fit, and I cannot wait to get away from here! So, cheers to one year down, one third of the way through this journey. Who knows, maybe by the third year here I will just LOVE it... yeah...maybe...

Baby bathing suit!

When my mom came to visit when Layla was born, she brought this adorable little bathing suit that my dad had picked out! Swimming was a big part of my growing up, with so many early mornings spent in the pool, my mom cheering us on as we raced, and my dad officiating swim meets! I haven't gotten the Lady Layla in the pool yet, but I decided to put her suit on with a sign wishing my dad a happy birthday! My good friend, Mary, was here visiting, and I am so glad because I don't think I would have been able to get a single shot with my squirmy worm without Mary's help! Anyway, here are a few pictures of our little photo shoot :)

Deployment: Homefront weeks 1-5

I wrote this post weeks ago, and just realized I never posted it!
Here are a few pictures of the first five weeks of B's deployment. A quick week by week breakdown:
Week 1: The night B left, our heater stopped working consistently. Within two days, it was working 20% of the time at best, and it was FREEZING! The repairman was waiting on a part, and it took a full week to get it in. Not only was the heat out, but it is tied to the hot water heater so we had none of that either....it was a cold few days.
Week 2: Valentine's Day! As the previous post said, we had a great time. Also in week 2, we met my good friend CeCe's new baby, Asher! Such a cutie. The other high(low)light of week 2 was Layla catching her first cold. After many steam showers and very little sleep, Layla recovered and life went back to normal.
Week 3: Layla cut her first two teeth! Her front bottom two teeth came through and she was much happier!
Week 4:Nothing really of note... Layla started wiggling in a crawling motion, but didn't really start moving yet.
Week 5:We took a big shopping trip to IKEA in Mannheim, Cora in France, and prepared for our visitors!

Layla was MESMERIZED by her new florescent outfit! I got her dressed and then set her down on the floor to play while I put away a few things. I turned around when I didn't hear her, and saw her just staring at her feet! I gave her a ball, but as you can see, it didn't hold a candle to the bright orange and pink! Eventually she traced the pattern up to the flower on the front, and somehow the spell was broken! (update: a few weeks later, and it is still exciting when I put this on Layla! It's only for a couple of seconds now, but she really likes these colors)

At bunco with my little St.Patrick's girl :)

We got out and enjoyed one of the few pretty days we have here!

Valentine's Day with my Bebe!

I was SO excited to celebrate Valentine's Day this year, which is pretty out of character for me! Actually, last year we found out that we were expecting a little girl shortly before Valentine's Day, and I remember being really excited to share it with her this year. My parents (especially my mom) did such a good job of making it a special day for us, and I wanted to be sure to pass the love on. Sure, there were boyfriends for February 14, but those didn't start popping into the picture until I was 17 and by then, my family had been my valentine for years! I remember heart shaped pancakes, fun little candies, lots of thoughtful gifts, and a big dinner at Macaroni Grill. I'm pretty darn happy that Mac Grill is one of the two American restaurants we have here on base, because that meant I could carry on the tradition! I think part of why I was so focused on Valentine's Day was because it was the week after B left, and I needed something beyond him leaving to focus on, plan for, and be excited about. So, plan I did... some of it worked, some of it didn't, but at the end of the day, I went to bed feeling very loved. I PLANNED to run the Cupid Shuffle 5K with Layla in the jogger. Unfortunately, I split my pinkie toenail when I stubbed my toe a couple of days before, and running was very much out of the cards. Instead, Laylalove and I went to lunch right when Mac Grill opened at 11, since she is so much happier in the mornings. You probably can't tell in the picture below, but Layla's vest is covered in little hearts!

We drew a heart for B on the table, so Daddy was with us, too, in a way ;)

I ate pretty quickly, as eating with Layla is like eating with a ticking time bomb with no readable clock, and then shopped around the B/X for awhile before swinging by the post office to pick up a gift card from her Nana and a package filled with goodies from her Gram! In that box of goodies from Gram was a new favorite book: Hippos Go Berserk! It was an instant hit, and we read it once twice many times a day! Oh, also in the mail that Valentine's Day was this sweet little valentine from my #1 Valentine... love :) B had tried to find cards, but they didn't have any , so he got a postcard and made it his own special Valentine's Card. This one goes in the scrapbook, friends!

And the Countdown Begins!

If you haven't experienced an Air Force deployment, you might imagine a big farewell with American flags, sobbing spouses, and a big group of uniformed men boarding a huge plane while their families wave goodbye from the tarmac. It might be like that for Army families, or a whole squadron deploying from a stateside base. For our family, it was much quieter, with no fanfare, and nobody else around.
B said goodbye to Layla the night before since she would still be sleeping when he left the following morning. His flight left out of Frankfurt, a little over an hour away. It was a regular old commercial flight, not a military rotater. This also meant traveling in normal clothes, not in uniform. He had to be there really early, and instead of waking Layla and then having me drive back upset and alone on the autobahn, B took an Alex shuttle from our house. We got up at 3:45 am, and B began getting dressed. I stayed in bed until 4:00, enjoying the last few minutes of hearing him in the other room. His shuttle pick up was scheduled for 4:45, so we had forty five minutes to sit together on the couch, with the background noise of Sports Center trying to drown out some of the noise in our heads. We didn't talk much; what is there to say at that point, anyway? I went to the restroom at 4:40 and when I came out, the shuttle had arrived five minutes early! I know it was only five minutes, but they were MY five minutes and I felt so robbed. "No! Tell them they have to come back!" I remember telling my calm husband, so handsome in his khakis, button down, and blue pullover sweater. Of course, that wasn't realistic. I tucked the card I had written into his pocket, hugged him as much as I could with all of his gear he was carrying, and gave him one last kiss before picking up the dog so she didn't run out the front door after him. Thumper and I stood watching in the doorway as the driver loaded B's stuff and then quickly sped away from our house. I let myself cry in bed for just a few minutes, because what does crying really change anyway? Then I called my parents and let my mom comfort me, read reassuring emails from Gina and CeCe, and waited for Layla to wake up so I could snuggle with her. The rest of the day was fairly normal, just grocery shopping, post office, and a walk with Thumper. I purged the house of anything B related, meaning I did all of the laundry including sheets and towels, any dish he used, cleaned any foods he eats but I don't out of the fridge. I needed to not be reminded that he was just there, so close that I could almost touch him but not quite. I have to say, I really think that helped. It allowed me to move forward and not linger on the goodbye. B messaged me to let me know he made it, which was relieving to hear. I also heard from so any good friends and family. To everyone who took the time to let me know you were thinking of me, thank you. I truly felt loved and looked after. I had dinner with my wonderful neighbor, Jamie, who is my guardian angel here. After a bath for Layla, I crawled into bed, thankful to put deployment day behind me!

Family Matters

When B and I got married four and a half years ago, we had a beautiful ceremony at the United States Air Force Academy Cadet Chapel officiated by an Episcopal minister. At the time, I was Catholic, and B was attending a Methodist church. We had agreed to find a common religion that we could both agree on. Well, after much soul searching on the part of my husband, he decided that Catholicism was, in fact, the religion for our family. So he went through the series of classes in spring of 2010! We wanted to have our marriage blessed by the Catholic church, but an unexpected move followed by an inability to really commit to a church in Ohio put off our plan. Once we arrived in Germany, though, and with the arrival of our daughter and B's upcoming deployment, we made it a priority. Luckily, the priests on base were very helpful, and within a matter of two weeks, we were able to get done what we had been putting off for almost three years! It was a quick little ceremony, just us, the priest, and two witnesses, and really is just a blessing of our marriage by the Catholic church. It doesn't change our anniversary, or anything like that. Anyway, here are a couple of pictures from the day!

Since I was dressed up anyway, I asked B to take a couple of pictures I had been meaning to get for awhile now. The stool under my feet has been passed down in my dad's family. It was made by my great grandfather for my great grandmother to put under her feet while she nursed my Babcia (my dad's mom). My Babcia, then used it when my uncle and dad were babies, and then my uncle mailed it to me when I found out I was expecting Layla. When my sisters have children, I will pass it along to them as well.

I felt it was important to take a picture wearing heels and hose, things that I'm certain both of the women who used this stool before me wore when they would put their tired feet up. I'm lucky those things went by the way side for every day wear! I like to think about how different, and yet similar our views were, sitting in a chair, with our feet up, looking down on our babies and wondering what the world would be like for them. I'm certain my great-Babcia (an immigrant from Poland) couldn't have imagined that the stool she was resting her feet on, constructed in an apartment above a grocery store in Brooklyn, New York, would one day be used by her great granddaughter in a small village in Germany!

I had wonderful grandmothers. I miss them. They passed away in 2006 and 2007, and while I was fortunate to have them for so long, I would have loved for them to meet B and Layla (who shares her middle name with my mom's mom). I remember them often.

Six Month-ish

Everything below spans from about five and a half months old to six months plus almost two weeks old. So. Six Month-ish is what I'll call that. Here's what our inquisitive little Layla has been up to!

Solid foods! Ok, so here's my thoughts on this. I don't know why parents are in such a hustle to give babies solid foods. Friends who haven't done this yet my advice is: wait as long as you possibly can! Why? Is it because my child doesn't like it, or refuses to eat? Or throws food? No, none of those things. Poop. Yep. That's why. Solid food poop stinks. I know, I'm so gross, but that's the truth of it, and my thoughts on waiting for solid food. Anyway, obviously it has to start at some point.

We gave her the spoon to inspect first, because it was new and very interesting to her. Layla likes it!

Our doctor advised us that there is really no reason to start with cereal (I know there are differing view points on this) so just pick something in the first food stage section and go with it! I decided to try avocado.... and she liked it!

Our home has carpet, but it is really thing, low pile carpet that is glued straight to the concrete foundation so it isn't ideal for a rolling baby. We got a cushy big rug from IKEA and Layla absolutely loves rolling around on it!

Layla is getting stronger, and sitting up straighter and for longer! She can't get there by herself, but when I set her down she stays sitting up while playing with a toy for several minutes before flopping over. I try to be close by to catch that little head, but she is getting better at landing gracefully.

I switched from feeding her in her BeBePod (similar to a Bumbo chair, but in my opinion much safer) to a high chair in an effort to minimize distractions. It didn't really work, but if she wants to keep flashing me these cute little smiles, then I don't mind it taking 20 minutes to get down two tablespoons of food :)

Layla also got her first cold last week! In this picture, we had just stepped out of my steamed up bathroom to sit on the bed for a few minutes to see if the warm mist helped with her cough. She was a pretty good sport about it, even though all of the coughing, sneezing, and runny little nose. Ok, so she was actually pretty lousy about the runny nose, and after successfully cleaning out her little nostrils multiple times, I can say with confidence that it would have been easier to paint the nails of the local barn cat. Regardless, she is almost completely well again, and I am so glad to have that behind us.

For Layla's playtime, I put her on the rug in her room and place a few of her toys out within reaching distance. I usually put away her laundry, empty the diaper trash, or pop in and out of the room doing other chores that require two hands, and since she can't crawl yet, I can be confident that she's safe for the couple of minutes that I am out of the room (she is SO close to crawling now, this easy time is about to come to an end). Well, I apparently didn't leave the toy she wanted out, because when I came back into the room, Layla had wiggled herself into the toy box, pulling out every item in it and tossing them behind her as she finished with them. She's a curious little thing, and as she becomes mobile, I know I will REALLY have my hands full!
And for those who care to know stats, at her six month appointment, Layla was 15.5 lbs and about 27 inches long.

Daddy Time!

Since I knew pictures of B and Layla would be very few and far between over the next seven months, I tried to capture as many little snapshots as I could between our return from Colorado and his departure. Here are a few of my favorites!

This one is in the parking lot of the B/X the day before he left. It was spitting rain, and they both had their hoods up and were having a GREAT time bouncing and zigzagging as we walked in.

Shopping day at IKEA! This baby hates socks, so Layla is barefoot, again, but it didn't matter because it was extra warm inside. It was the first time B had tried to wear Layla in the carrier, and it turned out to be a lot of fun for both baby and daddy.

Story time with Daddy!

Layla is sleeping in my lap in this picture, but the point is that I will miss having someone to capture moments that will be missed with just me as the photographer. B gets much better shots than I do, he has a real talent for it, and as much as I love to take the every day photos, his pictures are the ones hanging on the walls in our house.

This picture just makes me laugh for so many reasons. First of all, Layla is sitting in the entry way of our house, because the dining area is carpeted and she had learned how to blow raspberries while eating solid food. While cute, it also is a MESS. It results in Thumper also being very close at hand for feeding times(note her just behind B's leg), always ready to help. Also, for this particular go at solid foods, Layla is in a diaper, bib, and socks. So, she's normally fully dressed except for bib and socks, but here, it is the opposite. It was quite the afternoon.

These last few pictures were all taken on B's last day here. He loves his Converse All Star shoes. I do not. I could not, however, pass up these cute little pink sneakers so that Layla could match Daddy. Right before B left I realized that, even though the shoes are a little too big for Layla, they would be way too small by the time he was around again so if I wanted pictures of them matching each other, it would have to be done now!

In this last picture he was trying to fix the bottom of her pants, and she was scheming how to get a hold of his sweatshirt ties again :) Silly girl!
Layla misses her daddy big time! We've been able to do several video chats, and she positively lights up in a special way when she sees him on the screen. She recognizes him, knows his voice, and grabs at the computer screen in a way that's totally different than everybody else. They were able to really make a connection with the time he spent at home before he left, which was so sweet to watch, and made it all the more heartbreaking when B left. She is changing so much, and it will be wonderful when he can be home for at least a visit and see all of the new things she can do. They sure do love each other!

Layla's First Christmas + Home to Colorado!

And so here it is, almost March, and I am getting up Layla's first Christmas pictures... Wow am I BEHIND! In an effort to get actually caught up on this blog, I'm going to keep most of my comments pretty brief. The quick version: we spent Christmas here in Oberstaufenbach. B had a lot of time off of work, which was wonderful, and so we just spent time around the house. Even though we both know Layla won't remember a thing from her first Christmas, it was important for our own memories to make things as special as possible.

Christmas Eve Morning with Dad! I bought this little velour Christmas onesie online, and I think I washed every night for a week and half so she could wear it as much as possible. It was so soft, and so festive :)

Christmas Eve! I tried to get a family photo before church but it went... well... bad. So bad. I tried to put Layla in outfit after outfit, and she just screamed blooodddddy murrrrderrrr So, she went to Christmas Eve Mass in a white onesie and some fancy pants. It was not cute, not even a little, and she cried most of church. Luckily, once we got home and put her back in her jammies (ooo, maybe she should have just worn those to church!) Layla was back to normal.

I kept trying to get her to look at the camera. No thanks, Mom, she says.

Once Layla was in bed and couldn't peek, I filled her stocking with goodies. She got to share my stocking this year, because when I went to pick one up for her, they were sold out! I called my mom who ran out and got one right away and put it in the mail, but with the Christmas season back up, it didn't make it. B even went to base at 9 at night on Christmas Eve when the last scheduled delivery was made, but I just hadn't gotten going on it early enough. She's all set for next year, though!

Christmas morning!

Layla liked sitting in B's lap as he opened her presents. I love her little facial expressions :)

No, this  is not a regular occurrence. But Layla got her first KidSongs DVD (a series I loved as a kid) so we had to put on Old McDonald's Farm right away! Also, I wanted to sit down and enjoy breakfast with my husband so... Merry Christmas,  Layla!

Layla did join us for dinner, though, and sat up like a big girl in her BeBePod while we ate.
Then B set up the self timer on the camera and we managed to get a picture, even if Miss L was more interested in her toes than the flash

We spent the next week watching football, shopping, EATING, and hanging out. Layla sported our friend Cody's football number for his last ever USAFA football game.

Then, on New Year's Day, bright and early in the morning with less than two hours of sleep under my belt (no, I didn't party, our neighbors sure did, though) Layla and I began our big trip to the USA!!! I was so nervous and excited, I was just running on adrenaline all day. Our first flight was 11 hours from Frankfurt to Dallas, and from there we connected to Denver. Bragging mommy moment: she was an angel. I mean... I could not have asked for a better flight with her. I think I kissed her and thanked her for being so wonderful about 5 jillion times. When I walked through customs in Dallas, handed them her little passport, and the guard told her "Welcome to the United States, little girl!" I sobbed right there on the spot. It was so relieving to be there, safe and sound, and away from Germany if only for a little while. The flight to Denver was even easier (she slept from takeoff to landing) and I don't think I've ever moved so quickly through an airport carrying such a heavy load.

 It was incredible to see my baby with my family for the first time, and worth every minute of that plane trip!

Our first full day there was probably my favorite. We had breakfast all together at home, and then went to Starbucks and walked around the shops I miss picking up things from. Then, I had a long awaited Chipotle burrito before Ellen, Beth and I went to Target while my parents took Layla home. It was so nice to have the extra help caring for Layla. I was also reminded of just how easy life is in the States, and that things really don't have to be as difficult as they are in Germany. One morning I needed diaper wipes, so I took Layla the whopping 2 minute drive to Walgreens, got them on sale, and was home in a a total trip time of 8 minutes. In Germany, that would have gotten me half way to base on a good day.

Layla got all sorts of snuggle time with her Aunties!

Time changes were hard for my girl, and she ended up napping in the arms of everybody at some point!

Layla wore her football jammies in honor of her sponsor brother, Cody :)

While I was in Colorado, my best friend, Gina, made the trip out from Chicago to come meet Layla! I was so excited to see her, she is without a doubt one of my most favorite people and I miss her! When we were living in Dayton, it was only a short drive to go visit, and I miss being so close. I'm just so lucky to have a friend like her.

My longtime friend, Cindy, came over with her super adorable daughter and took a few family photos of us!

Cindy and I have been friends since preschool, and I love getting to see her when I'm home. We have spent so many holidays, barbeques, weddings... life events, really, together, she is family to me now!

On one of the last nights we were in Colorado, my parents took us to the USAFA (United States Air Force Academy) basketball game, and Layla LOVED it! She couldn't get enough of the sights and sounds around her, and happily sat with Dziadzia and Gram.

One of the places that I often with I could be in the mornings is at Einstein Bagels with my mom, a cup of vanilla hazelnut coffee, and a breakfast sandwich. I worked at this Einsteins for 2 years in high school, and then during a few college breaks and there are still many of the same people that come in every morning. It's the perfect place to just sit back and relax. My mom and several of her close friends get together here once or twice a week, and I loved being able to join them. When my sisters and I are home, we like to ask my mom when we get to go have breakfast with her friends because they are such wonderful women that have been in our lives for quite awhile now!

This picture is on my parents bed. Nothing in particular was going on, just my child posing for the camera with a "caught!" face.

One last nap time with Gram

For dinner on our last night, we went to Texas Roadhouse. Is it a chain restaurant? Yes. You bet. I miss chain restaurants. The food is ALWAYS good here, the service is good, and I love it. Quick, reliable, friendly service is underrated.

This was in the airport the morning we left. Layla really discovered her feet while we were in Colorado, and was just entertaining herself on Gram's lap. When I checked in at the American Airlines counter in Denver, I knew my bags were overweight. There wasn't much I could do about it, and I was a real mess that morning. The ticket agent not only waived the bag fee, she printed a gate pass for my mom so that she could help me all the way to the plane! I was so grateful, I started crying and she just grabbed my hand, looked me straight in the eye and said, "You're ok. You're going to be ok." It was what I needed to hear right then, as I was full of anxiety about the long day ahead, and I am still so thankful to Peg and the American Airlines ticket counter in Denver.
My mom and I said our goodbyes at the gate, and I boarded at the last possible minute. Layla again slept the 2 hour flight to Dallas, and we barely made our connecting flight to Frankfurt- they were already doing an all board when we rushed up to the gate. The last 9 hour leg of our travel was the bumpiest. The flight itself was fine, but Layla thought it was the afternoon and evening and had no intention of sleeping, despite the lights being off and everyone else snoozing away. We bounced, sang, played, read books... fussed a bit, and finally made it to Frankfurt. The picture below was taken as we waited to deplane in Frankfurt, both of us exhausted, and ready to be home with Dad again.