Taco Bell saves the day

No really. If it weren't for my ridiculous need for the nachos that day, it might have been a much crummier day! I try to get out of the house once a day at LEAST for my sanity's sake. There really aren't many places to go, so it's usually to base to pick up a couple of things at the commissary, the post office, or wander the B/X. That day I had actual legit things to do, which is rare! So off I went with my Layla girl happily chattering in the back seat. Well, I should have known it was going to be an off day when she fell asleep on the way TO base (usually this is on the way home, not going there). It was a solid hour before her nap time, but I couldn't do much while driving. But, I shlepped her, carseat and all into the photo lab to print up some pictures to put in the frames B had hung while he was home. However, photos were not to be had, the equipment was broken, has been for at least two months and they aren't really sure when it's going to get fixed so go to Saturn (local store). I've been to Saturn, paid TRIPLE what I normally would for prints, and the quality was so poor I didn't even put them up (thus my reprint at the base shop). So errand #1: fail. On to the post office. This post office is usually a fail, so I wasn't surprised when I stopped in to mail a package to a friend, only to be told the shipping would be $11, but only $5.50 if I switched to this other box. Ok, for half the price I did the switch (by this time Layla was awake and squirming in the carseat in her LEMMEOUTORELSE sort of way) but in the time it took me to readdress, a line out of nowhere- I had literally been the only customer with 5 mailing windows open before- had formed. So we waited our 10 minutes, mailed the package, and headed on to the library to get my book for book club. I had checked online before, found out the book was there, but by the time I ran my two other errands, the book was gone. And so, with my three stops done on base, I had little to show for it but annoyance. Well, I guess I had gotten the package mailed, so not a total bomb. My stomach told me it was lunch time, and I had packed a granola bar just for this reason. So I would NOT be tempted to go to the food court at the B/X and get Taco Bell. No. Eat the granola bar and go home.... but... nachos....nachos won. Layla seemed happier with this option, too, as it offered a chance to get out of the restraints and squirm for awhile. The food court at lunch time on base is busy, but we managed to get food and a table, and I fed Layla Puffs in her stroller while I enjoyed my food. After finishing up, I decided to walk around a bit before we got back in the car. As I situated all of our gear, I ran into a girl that I had met during a tour during one of our first months here. I had been meaning to meet up with her, but she's quite a bit younger than I am and I didn't know if that would be weird for her. She also happens to be available for babysitting....you see where I'm going with this? It was great to see her, and Layla REALLY liked her, so I'll probably arrange for her to come by sometime soon so I can paint my nails/rearrange the closet/ stare mindlessly at a wall. This is where our afternoon really took a turn for the fabulous. I walked into the furniture section of the B/X and spotted a gorgeous leather sofa sectional. I needed to set Layla down for a minute, and this looked like the spot to do it. I put her squirmy butt down and... ohhh... she had never experienced cool leather before... she looovvvvvvvved cool leather.... she layed back, rolled back and forth with her little face pressed against the cushions and then the back of the couch, crawled from end to end (it was a sectional piece, so it made a nice L shape that gave her extra room to roam) pulled up, flopped down, sat up, giggled and grinned just had herself a time! When she tired of this piece, we moved to four of the other leather couches there, but nothing was like that first one.

 B, if you are reading this, we NEED this sofa set! So many people stopped to watch her little show, I thought we might get asked to leave, but we didn't and so for more than thirty minutes Layla basked in the leathery awesomeness of these couches. Eventually, we wandered around the rest of the B/X, where I was surprised to find that their photo machines had finally been fixed, and I could print my pictures after all! Hooray for the B/X! We ran into another friend for a chat before heading home, where Layla was happy to roam free. Her most favorite activity right now is to run around the house, holding on to my fingers to keep her upright, but really using her own legs for the most part. When we got to the back door, she just wanted to stop and look out for awhile. So, I set her there and just sat back to catch her when she eventually fell (which was much later than I thought it would be!).

She tried to eat the panes that are built between the layers of glass, and couldn't quite get why her teeth weren't grasping the white section :) Funny baby.

All in all, a day that started out looking blah and unproductive turned out to be quite lovely, thanks to stopping for T-Bell.. oh, and my Lady Layla of course, who I never tire of watching discover her world!

Up goes baby, down goes crib

There are so many milestones with babies. You look for them, expect them, hope for them, cheer for them... and dread them. At least I do, some of them, anyway. Rolling over: OVERRATED! Sitting up: WAY COOL! For whatever reason, the milestone of lowering the crib was one that caught me by total surprise. It's not a milestone in the traditional sense of the doctor asking me about it at the next appointment. But it marks a significant growth in my tiny human. And it hit me hard! When we moved Layla out of our room and into her crib at around six weeks, I fussed at B a bit "Oh she's just so far away!" but deep down I knew that it was a needed transition that would help all of us sleep better (and it did at the time). However, we didn't have to move Layla because she had gotten too big. She really could have stayed in the pack and play for a few more months if I wanted. Lowering the crib was different. Layla has learned to sit herself up, and has pulled up to a standing position more than a couple of times now, so it just wasn't safe any longer for her mattress to be in the highest position. My baby is now too big of a baby to be in the babiest of the positions. And here she is laughing about it :)

 The drop of two feet (maybe? maybe less) seemed so much further than the move from my room across the house to the crib. She looks so tiny when I look down from the top, so much further for my arms to reach, searching to comfort her in the middle of the night.

I think I needed this reminder right now, that her time as a baby is really so very short. Layla will be eight months tomorrow- EIGHT! Lately I have been losing my patience with the (numerous) during the night feedings. From the time she was six weeks until almost four months, she slept through most nights like a champ. And then... she stopped. Twice a night, sometimes three or four times a night (and sometimes five) I am up feeding her. Full feedings. She finishes and happily goes back to sleep in her crib, but I am exhausted. Beyond exhausted. I've tried cereal, plenty of baby food, an extra feeding closer to bed time.... the only thing I haven't tried is formula and at this point, I'm in it to win it with breastfeeding her. I am also not up for the crying it out method- I need some back up here with me to help me through it, and since this is a one woman show, we won't be going that road. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to it. Some nights, she will sleep a good six hour stretch to kick off the night, and sometimes she is up after two and a half hours. No change in routine, food, environment. And I'm frustrated and tired. But this will only last so long. When she's ready, she will sleep through the night. So, tonight when I go in, I'll stretch to the bottom of that crib and nuzzle her fuzzy little head a few extra times before I put her back to bed.

Our German Anniversary!

April 4. We arrived April 4, 2012. I remember the day so well, even though I slept maybe 2 hours on the flight from Baltimore. I was so eager to get here, and get going on this German adventure! The build up was intense, and the only relief would come in starting our life here. So, it is now a year later, and it seems like a lifetime has passed in the last 365 days. We moved from the US to a hotel to a furnished apartment to our house, grew from a married couple to a family of 3, and sent B away on his first deployment. Things are so different now, I can hardly believe it! I have a few thoughts on the last year... ok more than a few. I have a lot of thoughts, but not all of them are worth sharing. I've been thinking about the good, and the bad. How my feelings have changed, and stayed the same. What I would do differently, and the things that I'm so happy have happened the way they have.
I'll admit, I wasn't entirely excited about our assignment to Germany. I had friends who tried to buoy my enthusiasm with chants of "chocolate, wine, and the diamond district!", ideas of easy European travel, and promises of close relationships with the military families stationed here with us. I'm thankful for those friends, because without that support I don't know how I would have boarded the flight here (ok, we all know I would have come anyway to be with B, but it did help!). When we arrived, I was often met with "Oh, you just got here? In a few weeks you will LOVE it! The first few weeks are the wost!". Well, we made it through the first few weeks, and those exclamations became, "The first few months are the hardest, around month 4 you will LOVE it!" And that just kept stretching out...once you have the baby...give it six months... after you've experienced Christmas... after you've been here a year.... Ok people. It's been a year, and the statement of "You will feel differently after you have been here a year!" has been completely true! I hate it here with a deep burning passion that I never could have imagined a year ago. I'm pretty sure not that's not what people meant by " You will feel differently." but it is the truth. Germany and I are just not a good fit for each other. Some people and places don't mix well. It doesn't mean Germany is a bad place(to me it is but I do know many people love it, and it's truly not evil..well.. anymore) or that I am a bad person (despite all of the people who have felt the need to tell me how wrong I am, that if I were involved I would feel differently, that I'm not doing things I should be). It just means that this isn't anywhere we will be looking at retiring!
I should say that there are things that I appreciate about this country. It is beautifully green. Drought is the furthest thing from people's minds here, as are the threat of natural disasters since there are really no tornadoes, hurricanes, landslides... you get the idea.. to contend with. The appreciation for keeping trash to a minimum is inspiring, albeit annoying at times. While I found the recycling business frustrating at first, I've come to appreciate it and really do think that the US needs to implement something like this pronto. I mean, we live in the red neck area of Germany (from my understanding where we are is like the Lousiana/ Mississippi of the States) and everyone here recycles, so I have no doubt that Americans could figure it out! Perhaps as a result as the dedication to the world around them, the streets are (for the most part) kept impeccably clean. Every Saturday morning, people sweep their sidewalks, tend to any thing on the exterior of the home that needs maintaining, and sweep (nope, not kidding here) the gutter and street in front of their home. They sweep the gutter and street into a little dustpan like most of us just use for our kitchen floors to make sure that the area around the home is spotless. It's impressive! Other positives: I have made some really good friends! My neighbor across the street, Jamie, is absolutely fabulous and I don't know what I would do without her. Seriously. She takes me and Layla in on a regular basis, feeds us, cheers us on, celebrates her milestones with me as if Layla was her own family, and in general is just a good person. I'm so thankful to have her. I also have met other ladies that have helped me connect here. Before I even landed on German soil I had a couple of people linking me to realtors, available homes, 220v appliances, spouses groups... you name it, I had a connection! My home was quickly stocked with the things I needed, we found a great home, and I was part of two spouses groups before my first month was over, and to me, being involved is the very best way to be happy. Besides the friends I have met here, I've also had the opportunity to grow much closer to a friend from Ohio, CeCe. We chat often, bond over shared experiences, reminisce our time in Ohio, check in on each other through TDY and deployments, and have created a friendship that I might not have had the chance to have if not for being in Germany together. 
One of the things(the only thing?) I was most looking forward to about living in Germany was the opportunity to travel and experience the local traditions. We've done a pretty thorough job of traveling the reachable area -and by reachable I mean as far as I'm willing to strap Layla into a car seat and listen to her howl for- and now that we have been here for a full year, I've seen the Christmas markets, fests, and Easter markets in action! These had been a unique experience, unlike much of what I've seen in the States. Colorado Springs has a few things that remind me of it- Territory Days for those who are in the Springs- but here every small village has at least some sort of celebration every year. The historical sites we've visited have been the biggest treat, and I still really enjoy taking visitors to Heidelberg to tour the beautiful castle grounds and take in the view of the city. We didn't get to go to the places I am most looking forward to yet, but we have plans to see Paris, Rome, Venice, and possibly a Mediterranean cruise within the next year! I truly am excited for these trips. I know people wonder why we haven't done more traveling and the answer is much the same as it would be if you asked why we didn't travel to New York, Boston, Chicago, or Nashville at least once a month while we were in Ohio; it is EXPENSIVE! Is it closer and therefore more accessible than if we were stateside? Absolutely! But hotels are pricey, train tickets are not cheap by any means, and driving in to many of these cities is not doable even in my smaller car. Also, see previous comment about a squirmy baby...
So what don't I like about Germany? Pretty much anything I didn't list above in my likes about living here  you can assume is a dislike. I dislike the food, the restaurants that serve it, and the lack of water. I dislike the roads here, the pesky tractors that are always in the way, and the unsafe streets through villages that require weaving between parked cars. I dislike the grocery shopping, how I am confined to a commissary that is regularly out of staples (because of budget issues, and because some people buy out certain items and resell to Germans because they can't get things like Fritos and Pepsi in their stores) and that even if I do go to a German grocery store it is just as far away as the commissary, stinks like rotting meat, and I don't know how to find the items I want. I dislike that the clothes here are so much more expensive than in the States and not my style, and that if I want to put together a cute outfit for myself or Layla I have to play "guess what size" online and hope that things fit together. I dislike that no place has air conditioning except for base, and when it's 95 during the summer with high humidity, there is no place at all to go to cool down, and if I open my window I am swarmed with hundreds of flies because there are no screens on windows here. I dislike the toilets, the way they spray so much waste into the air when you accidentally flush without the top lid down and the fact that they are always dirty and stink no matter if you cleaned them the day before or not. I dislike going to public places here, because parking is always hard to find, and you typically have to pay for it before walking a few blocks to where you actually want to go. I dislike that, if it is Sunday and I need something that the base does not have, I have to wait until Monday (if it's not a holiday, so many of them are here) because it is against the law to be open. When Layla had her first cold, I just wanted a humidifier to help my sick baby girl. But, it was Sunday, and the B/X only sells 110v appliances. I dislike that no place here does a real breakfast. I dislike that I can't communicate with someone what I need, and yes I realize I am in their country so there is no real reason for them to speak English, but I am not going to learn a language I never intend on using again for 2 years. I dislike the heating systems, and that there is no way for me to set a consistent temperature. I dislike the room by room radiators that take up wall space, are a pain to set correctly, and will burn my baby's little hand if she touches them after they've been on for awhile. I dislike how cold it is. The lack of sun doesn't bother me anywhere near as much as the consistent snow fall. I dislike the resistance to change here- why do they hate convenience and progress so very much? I don't get it. I dislike that the only walking paths around here are shared by tractors that don't pay attention to how fast they are going, and that I've had to quickly pull Thumper and Layla off into the grass many times to avoid being run over (this just happened today, as a matter of fact). I dislike that nothing here is family friendly, so much so that even Germans aren't having babies (true story, they have a declining population because of the cost and impact on life here). I don't want to let my child scream her head off and run around like a wild animal, I simply want to push my stroller into a store, or order a meal and have it ready in less than a hour. I have so many more things, but I think my point is clear.
I trust that we were stationed here for a reason, and I hope that in time I come to see that reason. I know Germany is a fabulous place to some people, and I wish it was a fabulous place to me, too. But, for whatever reason, this doesn't seem to be a good fit, and I cannot wait to get away from here! So, cheers to one year down, one third of the way through this journey. Who knows, maybe by the third year here I will just LOVE it... yeah...maybe...

Baby bathing suit!

When my mom came to visit when Layla was born, she brought this adorable little bathing suit that my dad had picked out! Swimming was a big part of my growing up, with so many early mornings spent in the pool, my mom cheering us on as we raced, and my dad officiating swim meets! I haven't gotten the Lady Layla in the pool yet, but I decided to put her suit on with a sign wishing my dad a happy birthday! My good friend, Mary, was here visiting, and I am so glad because I don't think I would have been able to get a single shot with my squirmy worm without Mary's help! Anyway, here are a few pictures of our little photo shoot :)

Deployment: Homefront weeks 1-5

I wrote this post weeks ago, and just realized I never posted it!
Here are a few pictures of the first five weeks of B's deployment. A quick week by week breakdown:
Week 1: The night B left, our heater stopped working consistently. Within two days, it was working 20% of the time at best, and it was FREEZING! The repairman was waiting on a part, and it took a full week to get it in. Not only was the heat out, but it is tied to the hot water heater so we had none of that either....it was a cold few days.
Week 2: Valentine's Day! As the previous post said, we had a great time. Also in week 2, we met my good friend CeCe's new baby, Asher! Such a cutie. The other high(low)light of week 2 was Layla catching her first cold. After many steam showers and very little sleep, Layla recovered and life went back to normal.
Week 3: Layla cut her first two teeth! Her front bottom two teeth came through and she was much happier!
Week 4:Nothing really of note... Layla started wiggling in a crawling motion, but didn't really start moving yet.
Week 5:We took a big shopping trip to IKEA in Mannheim, Cora in France, and prepared for our visitors!

Layla was MESMERIZED by her new florescent outfit! I got her dressed and then set her down on the floor to play while I put away a few things. I turned around when I didn't hear her, and saw her just staring at her feet! I gave her a ball, but as you can see, it didn't hold a candle to the bright orange and pink! Eventually she traced the pattern up to the flower on the front, and somehow the spell was broken! (update: a few weeks later, and it is still exciting when I put this on Layla! It's only for a couple of seconds now, but she really likes these colors)

At bunco with my little St.Patrick's girl :)

We got out and enjoyed one of the few pretty days we have here!